Dating Shmating: Adolescent Ignorance

Girls and boys develop crushes on each other at a young age, it’s only natural that one person develops an attraction on the other person and it all kinda just happens from there. I’m going to tackle the most atrocious dating advice that I’ve heard over the years. Granted, I am not a dating expert nor do I share the same knowledge as experts, but hey, here’s my take on things.

  • When is the right time to date?
  • How old should you be?
  • Are you mature enough to handle having a boyfriend?

Well- I’m not the one to deem when it’s appropriate, but most likely, you parents can give you a good answer on that. Everyone is different. I’ve had friends who were not allowed to date until they were sixteen, until they were seniors in college, and even ones without a strict age limit.
My personal opinion? Relationships get real when you’re out of high school, and transitioning into real world. I could tell you all about the countless crushes, or week long “boyfriends” I may have claimed to have all through out grade school, but in the grand scheme of things, those don’t count. That boyfriend of yours you have in the sixth grade and dated for two weeks? Yeah no, I’m sorry to break it to you, but I don’t think that really counts as anything close to a real relationship. But again, just personal opinion. 🙂
Even that boyfriend I had for several months in the tenth grade, would I count it as an official relationship? No. Did it help me understand what it means to have a boyfriend? Well, yeah, of course. But those school crushes I had, haven’t even come close to the actual relationship I have now.

Settle for what you have, you may not get another chance like this. Oh boy. That haunting thought every girl has when their relationship doesn’t turn out all that it’s cracked up to be. If you are suffering in the relationship with no chance of it getting better, get out! Settling for less than you can do is an unhealthy dating habit that many girls form, and it’s setting yourself up for potential danger regarding your own safety.

Sex is fine as long as you’re committed to him. Sigh. You’re a junior in high school thinking that this little boy you have is your world, and you want to share the most sacred, intimate part of you him. It’s not worth it. Don’t ruin purity over a boy that can’t even drive, or have a job, or have a college degree, or be married to you. Just because you are in a committed relationship and want to continue in it, does not grant you or him the right to engage in sex. If he tries to pressure you with the classic “we’ve been dating for a while now, I think it’s time we…” no. You do not have to do that.

Don’t text him first/act like you’re uninterested, boys enjoy the chase. Ok, first of all, in reality, if you want to talk to someone, you talk to them. This whole “girls shouldn’t text first” is ridiculous. I remember being like that in high school, and I laugh about it to this day. That may be the golden rule in high school, but I can guarantee you that boys (quality ones) do not care for your silly games. It goes for guys too, no person has the time and patience to play your stupid games. Of course, text and talk to someone without being overbearing or borderline annoying, but every relationship has different dynamics.

Show as much skin as possible/modesty gets you nowhere. Sure, you have every right to let your cleavage hang low and stick your butt out as far as you can! Just remember that it will attract the wrong guys, ones that will only admire you for your body and not the whole you. This one is tricky, because all humans are sexual creatures, but if you find the right one, they can still admire/appreciate your physical body, but respect it nonetheless. Have I mentioned the Modest is Hottest campaign on Project Inspired? 🙂

I know dating is hard for a girl that’s just entering adulthood. Dating is taboo, dating is risky, and sometimes it seems like it’s not worth it. Boys are not perfect, and even if you think you’ve found the right guy, he will have flaws of his own. But taking the time to find the right guy for you is essential, and weeding out the bad ones for you is necessary. Learn from your mistakes, because we are not perfect.

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